Misperceptions

Have you wondered how much energy we expend diffusing misperceptions? Someone interprets an action one way, and we have to go about explaining the whys and wherewithalls of the misunderstanding.

I've been on both ends of misperceptions. I've been the person hurt, and I've been the one receiving the angry accusations because of the misunderstanding of my actions. Neither end is very fun. Both leave you feeling emotionally and often spiritually drained.

So why do misperceptions happen? Reflecting on my past experiences, I noticed a few patterns:

1) We assume the other person knows what we're thinking. If we've known the person for a long period, we take it for granted that they will know our feelings or thoughts about a situation. Often they were thinking the exact opposite, and had no clue we were feeling a particular way.

2) We are super sensitive. We think we should have been included in an activity and our feelings get hurt when we find out through the grapevine that we weren't. I've realized that I can't be invited to everything, and I shouldn't be thinking I need to be. And, in many cases, the person I'm accusing was limited by time, money, or circumstances where I couldn't have been invited anyway.

3) We think too highly of ourselves. We assume we deserve special treatment and are upset when we're not; and then we justify our anger. The Bible says in Romans 12:3 that a person is "...not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think..." When we do, we get hurt or into trouble.

4) We don't communicate. There was a time when I was bothered by something I thought someone did. Because I did not communicate with the person right away, the problem escalated in my head, and led to a pretty bad confrontation. I could have solved the problem if I had chosen to speak about my concerns right away.

The best way to minimize misperceptions (because frankly, in a fallen world, I doubt we can totally eliminate them), is to give the problem to God. Sound too easy? I assure you, it is not. Giving a misperception to God means you give Him the pain and the hurt, along with the selfishness you feel about the situation. It means accepting that God may show that you are at fault and not the other person. It may mean that you may have to swallow your pride and accept that a person may never understand your frustration because to them the circumstance was meaningless.

Time is the best healing salve for misperceptions. When you give the problem to God, He will, over time, heal the pain and anger, and he will change your heart. He can even show you how to address a person you may have hurt as well.

Are you dealing with a misperception? Ask God to help you see the situation for what it really is, and then allow Him to bring healing in its proper time.